Tuesday, June 16, 2020

The Biggest Blessing Choose Forgiveness

With today’s climate I feel it’s appropriate to make this huge point. I was singled out in Danbury, there were good cops & bad cops, mostly good. The cops take orders from the captain, chief and the Mayor. I realized a lot of things, things about my healing, our system & I was very disappointed, I always thought that people in a position of power had some accountability. I was sick having multiple panic attacks, sometimes they lasted what seemed like days. I was being tormented. A few cops were doing favors for friends abusing their power. I didn’t even hate them, well at first....I then felt sorry for them because I knew they were lost souls. I realized that they were broken and far from God. I don’t think about them like I used to but if and when I do I pray and I ask God to bless them. At first I used to pray and it went like this.. God you know they suck, even though I don’t want to pray I love you so bless their sucky selves. Not sure why you love them, but ðŸ˜‚ what I’m being honest. Don’t act like you never tried to pray that way. I even had some prayers that were curses but thank God he’s so merciful and didn’t honor those. 

While I had the board members from hell, the town doing favors for friends and it affected every area of my life,  I still continued to honor God. The problem is I knew God but I didn’t really know God. The real enemy is satan and while he’s puppetting these fools, I had a choice. I could either get bitter, retaliate by sinking down to their level and make my own heart worse by acting just like them or ask God for help. I chose God. I put those people on the altar and continued to be me. I almost started to hate them, I started to get bitter and sick but then God helped me to not. In fact I forgave them though they were not sorry and I didn’t feel it. They were relentless for years. Do you know how hard that was to not retaliate? I mean truthfully the average person would have completely sided with me and pretty much does. I didn’t compromise who I am because I’m just not that way. I have integrity and I’m not a hateful person. It almost consumed me and as time went on the wounds became almost too much to bare. If your wondering over the years I have found it’s their pattern, I have even heard stories about others who have had similar experiences caused by the board and nothing has changed accept me-I am different. I am closer to God. I trust him because I watched him shut them down, block them many times & bless me right in front of their faces. Talk about favor, woo I experience it all the time. They even admitted that they stole my beach dues money, but that’s a whole other blog story, for another day. 

While almost everyone did the wrong thing, with a few exceptions, a few good cops that didn’t want to go along with the nonsense and they tried not to. They would just blow the situation off because they could see it was a lie and that the board was just ridiculous. As a human they thought it was stupid, but when it’s your job & your boss tells you, I can see why some compromise. I witnessed one fighting with the captain tell him it was BS & he knew it. Wow right? I made a heart decision and continued to do the right thing. How my family was treated was inexcusable, but God had a different plan. There is no doubt that they are lost. They tried to make my life very difficult at times, but in the midst of the drama I had peace, I had joy and they caused me a lot of stress, sickness and even at one point financial harm, but I put my trust in God and even when I was sick with PTSD and multiple panic attacks I kept praying. I would speak & say I am waiting for my miracle. I got it. I kept on trusting Gods words and I kept on waiting for him to move. I watched God move in my life. I watched each one go down in flames, it was amazing, but what I realized was it was their seeds they had sown & then they reaped that harvest. It wasn’t God “getting them” they got themselves. If your asking I repented for enjoying that. When you die you go in front of Jesus, he is not going to say what did so & so do..he’s going to ask me what I did even though he already knows. They will have the same fate, accept I am saved and I am getting into heaven, based on Jesus goodness and sacrifice on the cross, not my own. Jesus knows everything they did too. It didn’t pass him by, I wasn’t overlooked, in fact I was being set up for a huge flood of blessing. They will stand in front of him and account for themselves

I don’t live there anymore and I don’t have to deal with them, God did a flood of favor in my life, but mostly I realize that they have to deal with themselves and that in itself is very sad. How empty for them! God took away the little power trip they thought they had, he did it magnificently. The thing is God knew I had the problem before I even moved to this house. He didn’t cause the problem, because I trusted in him and I did things the way that he said, he was true to perform his word. He is still working on me, healing me daily and my faith is stronger than ever. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments just like everybody else. God went out of his way, to show me how much he loves me. God cares about everything I cared about, he protected me and many times he shut them down. Everything that was stolen from me physically financially emotionally he flooded me with favor and he is still flooding me. You have a choice, we can be bitter or better, but it’s our choice. God Bless, I hope you choose him. I hope you choose forgiveness. I know that some people have power and they can abuse it, but if you fill your heart with God you don’t have any room for hate unforgiveness. ✝️💯