If you suffer from this as many do. I have had anxiety since I was six years old accept I never understood it or recognized it as anxiety. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and a lot of abuse. I can remember laying on my bed frozen listening to sounds. Over the years I have during periods of high stress had panic attacks not just anxiety. I had no idea what I was experiencing was normal & figured I was just messed up. I always felt like I was messed up & kept it to myself. First & foremost it's your bodies way of telling you there is something that needs to be healed. I am not a therapist or a doctor and am just giving you MY testimony. It's scary, the thoughts are terrible and you can feel helpless or hopeless. I learned as much as I could about anxiety, but only after this situation caused me to get physically sick for over a year. I couldn't leave the house. I would wake up trembling. I couldn't sleep at night, by the time I fell asleep it would be some crazy hour. I learned that you can have mental anxiety or physical anxiety and you don't have to have them both at the same time. My favorite phrase to repeat "No one dies from anxiety", so if you think you are or your thoughts tell you that it's not true. It can make you feel like you think you are crazy or loosing your mind. Crazy people don't know they are crazy by the way. You have to learn to get out of you head which can be tricky to master but it can be done. You can have attack after attack but truthfully if you don't fuel them with your thoughts they won't last long. When you have anxiety you are breathing from the chest not your diaphragm. This causes symptoms of light-headedness or feelings like you "can't breathe." You are breathing, just not properly from your stomach. Put your hands on your stomach if it's not going up & down you have to try to control your breathing. I go to this website and use the information I felt it helpful and I bookmarked on my phone because my thoughts would become so scattered I couldn't think straight. http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/breathing-exercises. I never suffered with sickness like this until these people started to harass me in 2009. After so many years of abuse from Danbury and the Board members and their dysfunctional antics, the therapist said I developed PTSD. The Lord healed me from that.
I have had all random symptoms. I felt like I couldn't breathe, my thoughts were scattered, my feet were cold, chest pain, diarrhea, felt dizzy, light headed, tingling in my neck, arms, hands, nausea, tired, depressed. I was afraid at one point to let my heartbeat too fast because it would set off an attack. What I read about someone who had the same issue accept they asked a cardiologist about it. A healthy heart is a beating heart was what the doctor said. You can become hypersensitive to your body and paying attention makes it worse. They won't explode and you won't have a heart attack. That pain for me was gas, when I drank water I burped and then laugh at myself. I started by going to my doctor and getting all my bloodwork done to rule out anything physical. I had to repeat a mantra that, I am strong, healthy & vibrant. I have even had an attack working out.
How I learned to try to combat anxiety. I listen to the sermons on my church's app. I pray, meditate (when I say meditate I mean listening to my breathing & telling myself simple affirmations like I choose to be calm). I invite God into all aspects of my life. Prayer is earthly license for heavenly intervention. I try to eat healthy, right on time. If I can't eat on time I have snacks. I use a heating pad on my chest. I take a shower or bath. Sometimes I just move around because sitting still sometimes is worse. Since I was saved my anxiety is almost gone. From time to time I have some, but I know what to do to stop it as soon as it starts. The key in my mind is to find as many tools to put in your emotional tool box as possible. Heal your hurts. Let go of anger because no one can feel it accept you & can become toxic. Forgive- It's not that I'm letting them off the hook. I just love myself more. I am following the words Jesus said when asked about forgiveness. The most important thing is God, putting him first.
Since I was saved and baptized I have had no -ZERO panic attacks. After suffering for over a year with sickness, panic attacks and all the heartache this situation has caused, I do have some anxious thoughts or a symptom here or there maybe I start to concentrate on my breathing especially being dragged to court repeatedly and knowing that the courts are not in your favor no matter what has been a challenge. I know to manage them now so that they don't escalate and with the help of the Holy Spirit he strengthens me. Where there was anger it was melted and replaced with love. God is amazing and I am so thankful! It's not just because I am believing in God it's because his love for us surpasses anything we can imagine. I hated people. I was so angry. For the first time in my life I had experienced true hatred for the people hurting my family. My children kept me grounded so I didn't loose my temper. If you knew the old me, before I had children I would have been all over that. All of it has been removed & replaced with a love and compassion so great I cannot express it with words.
Let me also tell you that I could not stand the thought of Catholic Church and vowed to never go back and refused to listen when I was repeatedly suggested to go back to church. No offense Catholics. I just never had the connection and felt bored. I didn't like the idea that my girlfriends bi-racial kids could not be baptized. It shocked and hurt me. Jesus loves everyone. Yes everyone -not just white people. ALL people. Even the tax collectors and adulterers. I thought as long as I believed in God church did not matter. It does matter. I couldn't see how until I started going and my life was forever changed. I will never stop going.
I started off with Bronchitis and Severe Anxiety Attacks due to all the stress from what the Board members did to my family. It was so bad I couldn't leave my home. I would get into the car & just cry. I didn't want my kids to see, so I tried to hide as much as I could. Some days I would wake up withy hands shaking. I was on my couch or in my bed. It was torturous. I was angry and I often felt vengeful hateful to these people. Although I didn't act on it because I have children who look to me to lead by example. No family should have to endure the constant attack we have endured. I forgive ALL of them because they are emotionally bankrupt and I heard the Holy Spirit tell me in church to forgive.
I couldn't take the medications. I was rushed to the ER on three occasions because I thought I was dying and afraid. I was continuously sick for over a year. I even had anxiety over taking the medication & was afraid to get addicted to the Xanax. I never did. I also needed to be aware so I could still be a good mom to my kids. My daughter became petrified to sleep in her own bed. All the negativity had sucked me in, sucked my family in. She is 7 but all this craziness started when she was 4, my baby, that's what hurt me the most started having anxiety attacks, stomach aches. She told me she felt afraid to die. I knew she was having anxiety attacks because I was having them. We were really suffering.
We started Christian based therapy. The more I learned about Anxiety it helped me understand how to cope with it until God heals me. My friend showed me how to tapp. It's also known as EFT. I stopped doing it when I realized that its not Christian. God made the universe and we don't worship his creation. satan lives on Earth and anyone worshiping the Universe isn't worshiping the Lord. In case you are wondering my energy source is God and Jesus he is my Lord & savior. It was the answer I needed to replace the Xanax. It was a healing that my soul needed & she knew it. I have a few friends who saw me suffering and helped me with EFT. From the time I went to church my life changed tremendously.. The immense peace & love I feel within my soul is AMAZING! People say oh it's the people and it's the belief. NO it's God and being born again. I have the the Holy Spirit living inside of me and I feel his presence. I realize that the accuser had worked through these people to attack my family. God worked through others to bring us to him and replace what was stolen. I used tapping until I got saved and then it stopped working...Just like that...so I started to use Gods words to drive away the anxiety. I read my bible, I praise and worship. I feel the amazing peace given by the Holy Spirit and I keep it moving.
My situation is the same, yet it is completely different. My husband and I are close. We never let anything get between us and more than ever things have become closer. I didn't think it was possible. I don't know what will happen but I have a BIG GOD! Amen.
I have started to forgive them, because Jesus is my example. I used the talent that God gave me and then I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my words. God knows the problem before it exists and he has a plan. So far it has been amazing to watch him work, and I know his plan is far from over. I realize this place is dark and the way to make the darkness flee is to have the light enter. I also realize that God has placed us here because Holy Spirit has worked it out for us in his time. I know he said I need you there for now and when I am ready I will move you. It is about his plan and not mine. I know my God will not fail me and he will be right on time. Amen! I patiently wait for my miracle that I know that not only God will provide but that ONLY he can provide it! I thought people would help me, and I'm not saying he won't work through people because he will, but only he can fix this mess!
If you are being attacked by the accuser don't be afraid to Pray and ask for help. God answers prayers and I am walking proof. I hope this message reaches you and helps you! Remember God is the divine healer! God Bless!
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