The Biggest Blessing Choose Forgiveness

With today’s climate I feel it’s appropriate to make this huge point. I was singled out in Danbury, there were good cops & bad cops, mostly good. The cops take orders from the captain, chief and the Mayor. I realized a lot of things, things about my healing, our system & I was very disappointed, I always thought that people in a position of power had some accountability. I was sick having multiple panic attacks, sometimes they lasted what seemed like days. I was being tormented. A few cops were doing favors for friends abusing their power. I didn’t even hate them, well at first....I then felt sorry for them because I knew they were lost souls. I realized that they were broken and far from God. I don’t think about them like I used to but if and when I do I pray and I ask God to bless them. At first I used to pray and it went like this.. God you know they suck, even though I don’t want to pray I love you so bless their sucky selves. Not sure why you love them, but 😂 what I’m being honest. Don’t act like you never tried to pray that way. I even had some prayers that were curses but thank God he’s so merciful and didn’t honor those. 

While I had the board members from hell, the town doing favors for friends and it affected every area of my life,  I still continued to honor God. The problem is I knew God but I didn’t really know God. The real enemy is satan and while he’s puppetting these fools, I had a choice. I could either get bitter, retaliate by sinking down to their level and make my own heart worse by acting just like them or ask God for help. I chose God. I put those people on the altar and continued to be me. I almost started to hate them, I started to get bitter and sick but then God helped me to not. In fact I forgave them though they were not sorry and I didn’t feel it. They were relentless for years. Do you know how hard that was to not retaliate? I mean truthfully the average person would have completely sided with me and pretty much does. I didn’t compromise who I am because I’m just not that way. I have integrity and I’m not a hateful person. It almost consumed me and as time went on the wounds became almost too much to bare. If your wondering over the years I have found it’s their pattern, I have even heard stories about others who have had similar experiences caused by the board and nothing has changed accept me-I am different. I am closer to God. I trust him because I watched him shut them down, block them many times & bless me right in front of their faces. Talk about favor, woo I experience it all the time. They even admitted that they stole my beach dues money, but that’s a whole other blog story, for another day. 

While almost everyone did the wrong thing, with a few exceptions, a few good cops that didn’t want to go along with the nonsense and they tried not to. They would just blow the situation off because they could see it was a lie and that the board was just ridiculous. As a human they thought it was stupid, but when it’s your job & your boss tells you, I can see why some compromise. I witnessed one fighting with the captain tell him it was BS & he knew it. Wow right? I made a heart decision and continued to do the right thing. How my family was treated was inexcusable, but God had a different plan. There is no doubt that they are lost. They tried to make my life very difficult at times, but in the midst of the drama I had peace, I had joy and they caused me a lot of stress, sickness and even at one point financial harm, but I put my trust in God and even when I was sick with PTSD and multiple panic attacks I kept praying. I would speak & say I am waiting for my miracle. I got it. I kept on trusting Gods words and I kept on waiting for him to move. I watched God move in my life. I watched each one go down in flames, it was amazing, but what I realized was it was their seeds they had sown & then they reaped that harvest. It wasn’t God “getting them” they got themselves. If your asking I repented for enjoying that. When you die you go in front of Jesus, he is not going to say what did so & so do..he’s going to ask me what I did even though he already knows. They will have the same fate, accept I am saved and I am getting into heaven, based on Jesus goodness and sacrifice on the cross, not my own. Jesus knows everything they did too. It didn’t pass him by, I wasn’t overlooked, in fact I was being set up for a huge flood of blessing. They will stand in front of him and account for themselves. 

I don’t live there anymore and I don’t have to deal with them, God did a flood of favor in my life, but mostly I realize that they have to deal with themselves and that in itself is very sad. How empty for them! God took away the little power trip they thought they had, he did it magnificently. The thing is God knew I had the problem before I even moved to this house. He didn’t cause the problem, because I trusted in him and I did things the way that he said, he was true to perform his word. He is still working on me, healing me daily and my faith is stronger than ever. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments just like everybody else. God went out of his way, to show me how much he loves me. God cares about everything I cared about, he protected me and many times he shut them down. Everything that was stolen from me physically financially emotionally he flooded me with favor and he is still flooding me. You have a choice, we can be bitter or better, but it’s our choice. God Bless, I hope you choose him. I hope you choose forgiveness. I know that some people have power and they can abuse it, but if you fill your heart with God you don’t have any room for hate unforgiveness. ✝️💯

Scripture for Spiritual Warfare

Scriptures To Speak Out-Loud And Meditate On

I am a Child of the Most High God; I am Abraham’s seed; I am an heir according to the promise.

When you are born again, the Holy Spirit comes to live on the inside of you. You have authority in Jesus Christ Romans 8 & Luke 10:19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

Speak out-loud in a firm voice. Back-up Satan you are under my feet. Anxiety, Fear,  Panic....Get out NOW in the name of Jesus Christ; I am covered by the blood of Christ.

 I have yelled it on my knees sobbing and praying for God to help me so please do not feel stupid. Attacks are scary until you learn how to fight. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Print it out put it by your bed or somewhere you can read it, save it on your phone. Christ's suffering on the cross has bought you healing, you have the right to it. It became your right when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus paid for that right. If you are not saved (born again) or if you don't know where you are going when you die then click here for a prayer. 🙏 

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. Galatians 3:26-29

I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ.

The righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 

Romans 3:22

I am healthy, healed and whole

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. 

Isaiah 53:5

I will live and not die, I am not dying, and no-one dies from anxiety or a panic attack

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. 

Psalm 118:17

The Lords promise is long life.

With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. Psalm 91:16

I have the mind of Christ

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ. 

1 Corinthians 2:16

I am not alone in this world. I am not abandoned; I am not left alone to figure it out all by myself.  I have the Holy Spirit Living inside of me. This is true if you have been saved. If you don’t know where you are going after you die and would like to click here for a prayer. 🙏“He will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deutronomy 31:8

Spiritual Warfare What I Did to Combat Anxiety, Fear, Depression and PTSD

Are you suffering from Anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD? I was and it was caused by the Board members in AV and the City, but The Lord has healed me and this is what I did to help myself, with Gods guidance. I went to the ER twice thinking I was dying and that I couldn’t breathe. I was getting enough oxygen, in fact, when I asked the nurse she said,” Sweetie you couldn’t get more oxygen if you tried”. Lol I was like well I feel like I cannot breathe, but I was breathing, but I was breathing from my chest instead of from your abdomen, (nobody told me that in the ER ) and that made my lungs feel tight. I thought I was having a heart attack (I had chest pain). It was gas drank some water and began to burp. Lol I was concentrating on my breathing, and my heart I was afraid to let it beat too fast. I had bronchitis, PTSD, severe anxiety and panic attacks that seemed to go on one after another. Don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor I recommend a Christian counselor. I am not a doctor, I am just a person who’s been badly bruised and leaned on the Lord to heal me. If you are reading this I hope my experience can help you to fight and to heal. God has set an end date to the issue and what I realize is that he will deal with them in his own way. They will be accountable in front of Jesus just as I will, so I can only do what is right in Gods sight. I have also had Pastors with an altar of fire pray for me because it matters who prays for you. 

I do not like medications for me personally. That is not only a decision you have to make after speaking with your doctor, find out the side effects and I have tried them, I do not like them. I was told at the ER you had a panic attack here is some Xanax follow up with counselor. That left me upset, and no better. I didn’t want heavy medication like Xanax they are highly addictive and how was being high supposed to help (My thought)? I have not taken medication in years although I did in the beginning and again my thought was I’m high how does this help and my situation causing me torment was still the same. I trusted the Lord to heal me while at first he only partially healed me enough to not take medicines he finally said I was healed. Friend there is an end-date to your struggles, God loves you just the way you are all of your brokenness and you can manage this.

First get a physical exam to rule out and medical conditions so you know you are not having a heart attack and you are not dying. Stress can cause many things. Keep walking, keep it moving if you can get used to the symptoms of panic (and there are over 100) and still keep moving you can stop focusing on your breathing and/or your physical body. I read of a heart doctor who told a patient after a heart attack healthy heart is a beating heart. Our hearts are made to have a rapid heartbeat at times, it happens when we are moving a lot, eating, having anxious thoughts but most of us do not recognize it, unless you have anxiety, then you recognize it. Ignore it, don’t focus on it. Repeat this, “A healthy heart is a beating heart”.

Do an Intake-Why am I anxious? Did I eat? Is it hormonal? Is my sleep disrupted? Have I drunk enough water? You can have allergies with clogged ears and that can set off a panic attack. I once had bronchitis and it was setting off panic attacks. Check for an imbalance and see if you can fix it. Journal your anxious thoughts, then you don’t have to think of them again once you write them down.

What are you confessing? - This anxiety, depression etc.… is not yours do not claim my anxiety instead say this anxiety. Do not take ownership. We must always remember to speak life. Keep confessing that you are healed even during a panic attack. Do not verbalize your symptoms as if they are sticking around. Anxiety is a liar! It can cause you to have crazy thoughts, thoughts that make you think you are crazy or going to go insane, but don’t worry you are not-Crazy people don’t know they are crazy. Remember Satan is a liar John 8:44

This anxiety will not be with us forever and we can and will learn to manage it until the Lord heals us completely. Healing is a promise to destroy every disease including mental illness, anxiety, depression, panic attack, PTSD it is all included. Jesus paid the price for all of our sins; he took them upon himself and crushed them all at the cross. These panic attacks are actually a spiritual attack. We become frightened, and/or frozen we cannot think straight and our patience becomes thin. When this happens we are at war and at war our weapons become our words and our prayers. Sometimes all you can muster is a whisper, but that is all you need. (Rachelle Bleakly) Just Say JESUS!

Panic attacks stop quickly if you can get out of your head. It was explained to me by a doctor that it’s like the ocean, once it gets stirred up the waves come crashing in, over & over but if you calm the waves they will slow down and eventually stop. Try to stop the panic in its tracks, it helps.  Get up move around, wash the dishes, take a hot bath, take a walk; nobody will even know you are having a panic attack because they are so focused on their own selves. Sometimes your brain is going too fast so you cannot read, listen to the bible app watch a TV sermon or a podcast on your phone. Same goes for depression move a muscle change a thought. 

I was angry-I hated the Board members and the City, I couldn’t even bring myself to pray for them at first. Anger will eat you up on the inside- It causes you to be anxious so FORGIVE. Forgiveness isn't about letting anyone get away with anything it's setting yourself free. What I did was allow the Lord to work in my life by doing it his way. I understand some situations you just don't feel it. Ask God to help you and he will. I’m grateful for their disgusting behavior, because now I can be a light in someone else’s darkness. God has blessed me for every horrible thing that the enemy has done through these people and I am so in love with Jesus. The Lord makes your enemies your footstool and here it is in this blog. Don’t get me wrong they aren’t sorry, one iota, they were still try to attack my family, even as of last month, but I now know who I am. Who I am in Christ, I am a child of the Most High God. He is more powerful and is in control of my life. The Lord has blocked the enemy from trying to destroy my life through these people and when I move out from this neighborhood I will be grateful for ALL the Lord has done in my life in-spite of them. It doesn’t mean what they did was acceptable or that I want to hang out with them, It means I love myself and my Father enough to let it go. It also means I pray for them, even though they aren’t sorry. I keep giving it to him and he walks me through forgiveness.

Heat works to relax you-Heating pads, hot baths, I have even used the heated seat in my car. A heating pad on my chest worked wonders. Muscles get sore from being tense; my upper chest used to feel like someone punched me.

For high anxiety (not in the middle of a panic attack) Lie on a bed or flat on your back it helps to watch your stomach rise and fall. Breathe into your nose hold it and blow out through your mouth (pursed lips or whistling).

Breathing during a panic attack or at the beginning when you are concentrating on your breathing. Speak this I command my breathing to be normal, into my abdomen and not into my chest right now in the name of Jesus Christ-Amen If you are having trouble concentrating as long as you exhale more than you inhale you should stabilize Co2 levels that cause dizziness and feeling of not being able to breathe (Don’t do it of you have a heart condition).

Calmclinic.com has a bunch of breathing techniques that I have used during a panic attack.

Take 15-20 minutes in a quiet place

1. Inhale count 5 heartbeats

2. Hold Breath, count 7 heartbeats

3. Exhale count 9 heartbeats

If you are suffering from PTSD-Every damaged cell in my body I command you to be repaired right now in the name of Jesus Christ-Amen repeat, repeat repeat, in the car, shower, cleaning. Mumble it say it before bed and when you wake up. 

Say it out-loud in a firm voice. Back-up Satan you are under my feet. Spirit of Anxiety, Fear, Panic, PTSD GET OUT NOW in the name of Jesus Christ; I am covered by the blood of Christ. I have yelled it on my knees sobbing and praying for God to help me so please do not feel stupid. Attacks are scary until you learn how to fight.

The Single Most Important Question

This question will be asked at least once in your lifetime. That question is who do you say Jesus is? The question to ask yourself is if you were to die tomorrow where would you spend eternity? Not sure...Think that all your good deeds or the way you lived gets you into heaven. Think again. Maybe you think if you live a certain way that you will come back until you get it right? Isn't that depressing? None of us is perfect, so how could we possibly think we could ever achieve what only Jesus achieved? For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 We all sin, ever lie, it's a sin, say the "F" word, still a sin. We were born into sin, (Adam & Eve) John 14:6 Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. Because God is so holy and we are not- all sin is sin. John 3:5 Jesus answered, "Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 

Maybe you are mad at God or think he's mad at you? Watch this amazing sermon by Todd White. (Click his name to see the sermon) Believe in science. Science actually proves the bible story after story. Who do you think created science? As humans we believe in text books, text books are written and re-written & we believe what is in them. What is re-written is changed or corrected. The bible has never been changed or corrected. The bible is not only a book of instructions for every situation that will ever arise, but it's Gods words for us. The bible is inspired by God and yes flawed humans wrote accurate records of Gods dealings with mankind.  Do you know any other kind of humans? I don't. Inspired by God means God breathed. God is supernatural. If you are not sure about it, ask God to reveal himself to you by speaking to you though the bible. Everything God does is because he loves us so very much. God cannot lie and his words are the truth. Education has not brought enlightenment to the world. Has education given you personal peace and kept you from experiencing personal pain and broken relationships? Has science solved the deepest problems of our souls? No it certainly has not. Yes we live longer or more comfortably but you will still face death. (Isaiah 53 Explained Mitch Glaser). You can even repeat mantras that make you feel better temporarily but ultimately you will not gain true peace unless you know Jesus the Messiah as your personal Lord & Savior. 

Mark 8:29 Then he asked them, "But who do you say I am?" Peter replied, "You are the Messiah." You will be asked the same. So, how will you answer? 

God is madly in love with you, he's not mad at you or trying to get you & he's always with us, you can ignore him, even reject him & he never leaves us. How do I know? John 3:16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Deuteronomy 31:6 So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." He is faithful! He is the best Father you could ever get. Maybe your earthly father didn't love you properly or you feel alone. Maybe you are afraid to trust. Maybe your heart is so broken you just gave up. God is a heart doctor and he can heal anything you have. He doesn't want religion or religious rituals, he wants you! He wants a relationship everyday all day for eternity. Maybe someone religious was living wrong and that changed your mind or a religious leader did the wrong thing. God is not people, people are imperfect, God is perfect and sinless. He would never hurt us in fact, everything he does is for us.  Romans 8:31-32 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 

Jesus died on a cross for our sins, for you and I. He did not wait for us to be perfect, all cleaned up before he loved us. He loves us sin & all, then died for us so we could be reconciled with God. That is amazing love! A free gift wrapped in Grace for you & I. 

Romans 10:9-10

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” 

Salvation prayer (you must speak this outloud and mean it in your heart)

Lord today I give you my life, come into my heart and wash me clean. I repent of my sins. Send your holy spirit to live inside of me. Jesus, I declare that you are the messiah and the Lord of my life. I acknowledge that Jesus is the Messiah that he died on the cross for my sins and rose again on the Third day so I could be made right with God In Jesus name Amen

If you said that prayer you are saved. What that means is you are getting into heaven and that you now belong to Jesus Christ. I hope you choose life and the love of God! Your life will never be the same. If you reject him, you are rejecting a life with Christ and an eternity with him further accepting an eternity in hell. So at this moment you have two choices, accept him as Lord & savior or reject him. 

God Bless,

Be Still

I have spoken to over 30 attorneys, the news, local papers, senators, the FBI, Common Counsil, State Troopers, wrote the mayor 3 times only to get sued, fought crooked insurance companies you name it just about anyone you can think of in the chain of command that is supposed to help a family. What I found out is the system is broken. Most importantly I fought instead of quitting! God is fighting for me and that gives me peace. One place passes you to another shrugging off any accountability and covering for their corrupted counter-parts. It's disgusting! There was not one decent person who cared. I found out that God loves me. I found out that he is a God of justice. If you have a small town like Danbury where everyone is doing favors for each-other but not for me, than you have absolutely no rights.  Pretty much it's corrupt from the bottom to the top and no one cared to help. It was awful and overwhelming. I realized that ALL power comes from up above. That's right, my Father, (Heavenly Father). My father owns it ALL and all power comes from above! I am now watching God work on my behalf in amazing ways. I find peace in him & knowing that he is a God of justice I have faith that not only is he going to change this crazy situation around, he is going to bring us out better than we were before. I will continue to stay in Faith, standing on Gods promises and living my life fully & joyfully. God promises double for your trouble (Job 42:10) -whew I'm about to get a blessing so wonderful that I cannot even imagine. My heart is grateful and even though the storm raged around us I found God protecting us, giving us peace. I recently spoke to a woman in another state who told me she had an issue with her home where the septic wasn't on her property, she said it took 8 years and a senator to get it fixed, it happened to eight other families on the same block. What can I do to make fix this house? Nothing and no human being can fix it either. It's for God to fix. I've learned that I if I simply trust God turn it all over to him and do the things he expects of me while I'm waiting, that he will make a way where their is no way. In looking back, God knew we would encounter all of this, he purposely had the land not belong to the City, just like how he parted the waters for Moses, putting the land in so that the Jews could escape before anyone knew (accept God) he put the land in for me. That's right I was sued for land not owned by the City. Wow for me, little old me. He loves me that much that he carefully crafted a piece of the earth not to belong to the City. Well it really all belongs to God anyway but you know what I mean. I was so focused on the problem and I needed to focus on God. God is bigger than any government agency, any neighbor who's hell bent on hurting you, anything and everything I am facing. God is bigger than your problems and I realized, he is the answer. He is the answer to every problem. I'm excited to see what God will do next. It's amazing that the God who created the heavens & earth cares about me. It's amazing that I have ideas on what I think will happen & than God shows up in a major way, blowing away all my ideas and fixing things in a way that is better than what I could dream or imagine. What I needed was to be still and let God take over. Sometimes all we need is to just be still and know that he is God! Psalm 46:10

Prayer for peaceful nights rest

Father God, I thank you for all that you do and all that you are. I am so worried, I cannot settle my mind and I need you. Send your Holy Spirit to assist me and command your angels to guard me, Lord to watch over me and to protect me from the evil one. Satan back up off of me, I belong to Jesus and I have the right to peace as Jesus died for my right to peace. I am covered by the blood of Jesus. I am relaxed, calm, peaceful and I will sleep all night long uninterrupted. I trust you!

In Jesus Mighty Name-AMEN! or read Psalm 91

Love your enemies, Love your neighbor

I had a conversation with a person living in my community who has been living here pretty much since the beginning of this dare I say community was built. I learned something. God has placed my family in this place where people are often singled out. We are indeed not the first people for the board to one day decide that maybe for one reason or another several of these same people tried to ban together, with harmful intentions to another neighbor. What I'm about to tell you community is how you are behaving is wrong it goes against what God demands of us. Mark 12:31 The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these.". When you set out with a harmful intent, with malice in your heart you are not only blocking your own blessings from The Lord, you are not happy inside. Hurting someone else is not going to fill you up and the adrenaline rush that you experience leaves you feeling empty and not filled up. Jesus loves you so, so much and what it boils down to is that hurting another does not magnify you in a good way. The meaning of community is not to gripe about petty nonsense and hurt others. Who cares at the end of the day who has guests at the beach, or who rents? The nonsense I heard was profound and sad. What is realize it that without outing anyone or putting their names out there. I could have put everyone's first & last name and didn't because every word I have said is truth and the mound of evidence I have to back it up. I choose not to because than I am no better than them. There is so much dysfunction in this community and stupidity is contagious evidently. He has placed us where he needed us to do his work. True happiness will NOT come from repeatedly calling the police on someone and lying to hurt another. Repeatedly calling 311/911 because your feelings were hurt. They failed to realize no one did anything to them. Words are not actions. There is no justification to banning together to hurt people. Living in a place your whole life is not justification for hurting a family or hurting anyone for that matter. I feel it's really sad. Any time you plot out to cause a family harm, financial/emotional, lying repeatedly about events and go above & beyond to purposely "get someone". The Lord blocks the attack of the enemy. Isaiah 54:17 But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!

The definition of community 1) a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. 2) a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. The Bi-laws state that the reason this community exists was for  fellowship. The definition of fellowship is friendly association, especially with people who share one's interests.

At no point did anyone try to welcome us to the community in fellowship. My welcome was the cops being called on me for a favor I was doing for my friend by letting her park at my house her registered insured van and so began the journey. Their are so many issues in this world, in this community, that if all the energy and anger was directed at what really mattered it would just simply be a nice place to live, what's sad is it's not. Any "beach experience" has left a bad taste in my mouth. I pray for them frequently. What I could never understand is that I worked so hard to get here, than here was not what I expected. Although I Thank God, for all the blessing in my life.  I realize that I have more than most, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, clothes on my back, children who I love & cherish, a husband who is my best friend, when I think of it I could list  a tremendous amount to be thankful for. I do understand now. God needs me here & I trust his plan and when he doesn't need us here he will move us. I stand on his promises 2 Corinthians 1:20–For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Matthew 19:26 which say, “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” Psalm 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. I declare this in Jesus powerful name. AMEN